From a Tokyo car rental brochure： When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.
日本租車手冊：當看到旅客的腳的時候..按喇叭。一開始喇叭要按得很有旋律，但是他如果還阻擋你的去路的話，就用力按喇叭。
From Osaka International Airport: Your Shoe Sunshine Here!
日本大阪關西國際機場：閣下皮鞋在此燦若陽光。（把shine寫錯成sunshine）
Sign in Japanese public bath: Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub.
日本一處公共溫泉告示：外國賓客請勿在浴池裡拉扯「那話兒」。（Cock有水龍頭和男人性器官的雙重意思。）
In a Nice Gift Shop: Our Police: No Return, No Exchange.
法國度假勝地尼斯的一家禮品店告示：本店警察：不得要求退貨或換貨。（註：把Policy寫成Police）
In a Mexico Bus: Keep all fours in bus – eyes only out window.
墨西哥觀光巴士告示：把四肢放在車內，只准眼睛放在窗外。
In a Paris Jewelry window: Watch guts repaired.
一家巴黎珠寶店櫥窗：「請看整理過的內臟」（其實要表達的是「修理好的『錶心』- watch guts」
On an Italian train: Water not potatoble.
在義大利火車上：「瓶裝水沒有馬鈴薯」（把portable 拼錯了，原意是請勿帶走瓶裝水。）
At a museum in Madrid: Children must enter with parrots.
西班牙馬德里一個博物館入口處：兒童必須與鸚鵡一起入內。（註：把父母親parents這個字拼錯了。）
From a Majorcan shop: English well talking. Here speaching American.
一家西班牙禮品店招徠觀光客：英語會說，美語也通。
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service. 香港超級市場告示：我們建議您勇於自我服務。
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
香港一家訂製西服店的店招：女士們請上樓配對。（fit在此有試身和匹配雙重意思。）
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.
曼谷一家乾洗店招徠客戶的大膽手法：在此脫下你的褲子，得到最滿意的結果。
Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.
巴黎一家服裝店的廣告：讓您招徠恩客的美服（street walking指阻街女郎上街招徠恩客，其實要表達的是「逛街用的洋裝。」）
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
希臘愛琴海上一個度假島嶼的西裝店店招：快來訂做您的夏天西裝，因為來者太多本店將嚴格按照先後順序處決顧客。（註：execute有處決囚犯和執行事物雙重意思）
Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
一份蘇聯的觀光刊物：莫斯科藝術博覽會有15,000名蘇聯畫家與雕刻家參加，他們在過去兩年內被行刑完畢。（註：executed在這裡應該改為exhibited被展出就對了。）
In a barbershop in Tokyo: All customers promptly executed.
又一個處死觀光客的案例：一家東京理髮店本店迅速處死顧客。
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
東非一家英文報紙報導一座游泳池施工的進度：在施工單位把許多工人扔到池子裡之後，游泳池總算看到一個樣子了。
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
德國觀光景點黑森林告示：森林公園露營場地禁止性別不同人士，如男性與女性，住在同一帳棚內，但為此目的而結婚者除外。
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
一家羅馬觀光客診所標示：專精於女人與其他疾病。
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
香港牙科診所的標示：由最近皈依教會的循理教士為您拔牙。（Methodist是基督教中的一個教派，中譯為「循禮會」。原意是「本診所用最新的方法-latest methodology為您拔牙」）
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. 一家羅馬的洗衣店敬告觀光客：女士們：留下你們的衣物於此，然後享樂一下午。
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
捷克觀光局標語：光顧一小時的馬車城市漫遊，保證不會造成流產。 （miscarriage有婦女流產和沒有成功的雙重意思。）
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
泰國觀光景點招徠旅客騎驢：您想坐在自己的屁股上嗎？（ass有驢子和屁股雙重意思。）
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
瑞典一家皮草店的櫥窗：用女士自己皮膚做成的皮毛大衣。
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. 香港鐘錶店賣出鐘錶的英文保單：保證在可用之年行走無誤。
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
保加利亞布達佩斯動物園給觀光客的建議:請勿餵食動物，如有合適之食物，請交給當值之警衛。
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
曼谷佛寺入口處警語：女士禁止進入，即使是穿得像男人一樣的外國人也不得進入。
Outside a copier in India: We make photocopies in all languages.
印度一家影印店店招：本店複印各國語文之文件。
From a Tanzanian newspaper ad：Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool as you drink it all in.
東非坦桑尼亞的英文報紙廣告：本店飽覽撼動人心的吉利馬札羅火山上的景色，倘佯在可愛的游泳池中飲盡所有池水。
In a butcher shop in Nahariyya, Israel: I slaughter myself twice daily.
以色列一家肉店：我每日屠宰自己二次。（原意為本店每日殺牲二次，以保肉質新鮮。）
At a Greek harbor side：No hooking here.
希臘港邊警語：本處禁止賣春。(原意是禁止釣魚，但hook這個字常被暗指為妓女hooker當街兜纜生意。)
In a barbershop in Zanzibar: Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors.
非洲桑比亞的一家觀光客理髮店：用銳利的刀片切割男士們的喉嚨。
In the window of a travel agency in Barcelona: Go away.
西班牙巴塞隆納的觀光局意義深遠一語雙關的旅遊口號：遠走高飛（走遠點去觀光？還是走遠點別吵我午睡？）
Sign outside a barbershop in Beijing: Haircuts half price today. Only one per customer
北京一家觀光客理髮店促銷廣告：本日理髮半價，每一顧客只能理一次。
Sign outside Mexican disco：Members and non-members only.
一家墨西哥夜總會門前：本店僅招待會員與非會員。
Sign On a German beach: No boots allowed on the bitch.
德國海邊告示牌：不許用皮靴踐踏母狗 （其實是想說「海邊沙灘禁止穿著皮靴」）
Book title： Correctly English in 100 days.
書名：百日內改正你的英文（文法出錯的英文書名）
A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines : "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS"
這是在公路上一家招攬路邊廣告的廣告公司的標語:「沒有招牌的企業，就是沒有業務的象徵」
Barber-shop notice in Bombay: Hair-cutter and clean shaver. Gentlemen's throats cut with very sharp razors with great care and skill. No irritating feeling afterwards.
印度龐貝城一家觀光客理髮店告示：在此理髮與刮鬍子：用非常鋒利的刀片和高超的技巧小心割斷男士的喉嚨。保證侍候無刺痛感。
使用說明
On a Taiwanese shampoo - Use Repeatedly For Severe Damage
台灣出口的洗髮精：請重複使用以便造成嚴重傷害。
On a New Zealand insect spray：This Product Not Tested On Animals
紐西蘭的殺蟲劑標示：本產品未經動物試驗。
On a box of Christmas light made in China: Indoor and outdoor use only.
一盒由中國製造的聖誕燈泡上的標示：僅限於室內與室外使用。
In an owner’s manual of a food processor made in Japan: Not to be used for other use.
一台日本製的食物調理機的英文使用手冊上的說明：本機不得使用於其他用途。
On a Japanese game software manual: Hit mouth in two times rapid succession, move mouth so cursor will appear on the monitor.
一套日本遊戲軟體上的英文安裝說明：連續迅速敲擊嘴巴兩次，然後移動嘴巴游標就會出現在螢幕上。（把滑鼠mouse寫成了嘴巴。）
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